Shelley Johnson, Janssen Sports Leadership Center

Lucky Every Day: 20 Unforgettable Lessons from a Coach Who Made a Difference (The Wisdom of Diane Geppi-Aikens) by Chip Silverman.

Diane Geppi-Aikens served as the passionate, irreverent, fashion-challenged coach of the women's lacrosse team at Loyola College of Maryland until her untimely death in 2003 from brain cancer. Even in her last season, she motivated the underdog Greyhounds to a #1 national ranking and a national championship berth from the sidelines in her wheelchair. With her passing, her players sought a way to immortalize the lessons which Diane lovingly and flamboyantly had instilled in them. The players' collaboration produced a series of stories told in their own voices testifying to Diane's motto to feel lucky every day.

SIX KEY LESSONS FROM LUCKY EVERY DAY

1. [Respect] means performing in such a way, behaving in such a way, that no matter what the outcome, my opponent and those observing can't help but develop a deep respect for me. It means never giving up and having so much pride and self-confidence in who I am that I never hang my head, never allow me to beat myself. (p. 66-7)

By halftime in the national championship game, Diane's Greyhounds found themselves down 1-8 against the Maryland Terrapins. Her halftime speech conceded that they might be physically outmatched, but she implored her team to not only play to win -- more was at stake than that - but to play for respect. They should play for the reputation of their school, their personal reputations, their teammates' reputations, and for respect. She wanted her team to play in such in way -- regardless of the outcome -- that Maryland would respect her Loyola team for its fight and determination. In the end, Diane's team outscored Maryland in the second half 4-2 and then celebrated as if they have won the national championship even though they lost by a final score of 5-10.

Do your athletes play in such a way that your opponents respect your effort and toughness at the end of the competition -- regardless of the final score?

2. Too many excuses. You need to take personal responsibility and control your own destiny. You can't control the weather outside, you can't control what the officials are going to be like during a game, and you can't control where the ball is going to bounce. But you can control the way you react, how hard you work, and your attitude. It's important that you don't get wrapped up in excuses. (p. 50)

Repeat after me: "Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; give me the courage to change the things I can; and give me the wisdom to know the difference." In short, control the controllables. The only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation. Only three factors are within your control: the present moment, the process of a game plan (or the process of a technique/skill) and positive self talk. These are the 3 P's of refocusing. It is imperative to refocus after a turnover or a blown call. Don't dwell. Bounce back. Move on. The play of the game does not stop for pouting and tantrums.

3. Every day at practice, every day you get together as a team, and every day you are out there alone, you have to do everything in your power to make sure you are the most prepared you can be. When you walk off this field in May thinking that you did everything you possibly could to be the best that you could be, then you've left no stone unturned. (p. 50-1)

Diane always had some sort of inspirational story, slogan, or rallying cry at hand for her girls. For your teams, create a word or phrase that embodies the mindset you want them to have. Put that saying on practice shirts. Post it in the locker room. Have your players write it on the tops of their shoes so when they look down it is staring back at them. Make is visible such that they are reminded of it on a daily basis. In this case, Diane was speaking about regret. She wanted for them to not regret a missed opportunity that upon retrospect they would regret not having tried harder. What's done is done. There is no going back. Do everything you possible can to help your team win. Remember the acronym WIN: what's important now.

4. From this exceptional woman I learned that if a decision has to be made, make it with confidence and conviction, and stick to it. Whether the decision was right or wrong is often relative, but the rewards of such tenacious behavior are always plentiful. (p. 75)

My college coach instructed me that a bad decision was better than no decision. Doing something is more beneficial than nothing. This was liberating. It liberated me from playing with a fear of failure, of making mistakes, of playing it safe, too safe. This is absolutely critical to develop empowered decision makers among athletes. I found this particularly helpful when it came to communicating on the field. Decisions have to be made; some sort of game plan has to be developed.

5. [Diane] loved it when someone with lesser natural ability showed up one of the team phenoms, and would always call attention to these minor victories for the underdog, crowing, "You may outrun her, but look how fast she made you run!" (p. 108)

Diane believed that everyone has a special role on the team, that success comes from substitute players as well as superstar players. To get your players to accept their roles, you must show appreciation for all roles. It is important to foster the mentality in bench players to battle, compete, and challenge the starters. It is the responsibility of the practice players to do so. Furthermore, it should be expected and encouraged by the starters of them. There is an understanding between teammates that: "You challenge me; I challenge you. This is my promise to you, and I expect the same in return. In turn, we will raise the collective performance bar for the team." This competitive element can be a particular struggle for female athletes -- separating the competition from personal feelings.

6. Young people don't have passion for anything. When I was younger, I helped petition Baltimore City for wheelchair-accessible curbs on every street corner. To the contrary, you guys just attend college, play lacrosse, and drink beer. You don't do anything for anyone else! (p.119-20)

There is more to life than sport. Help lend some perspective to your athletes. Make them aware that they are a part of something bigger than themselves be it locally, regionally, nationally, or globally. Make them aware of their relative good fortune for being young and able-bodied. Carolina along with many other schools serves its athletes by encouraging them to Adopt a Highway, serve dinner at the local Ronald McDonald House, or build a Habitat for Humanity House. That way, they remain humble and grounded.

Here is my challenge to you. Consider the following questions.

What would your 20 lessons be to your athletes? What are the stories your athletes will tell about the lessons you are teaching them as a coach?

What would you want your athletes to write about you?

These lessons are your legacy. These are life lessons: they will remain with your athletes far after the buzzer has sounded, the cleats have been hung up, and the jerseys have become frayed from wear. This goes far beyond the X's and O's. How will you shape their lives?

It is within your power to mold your legacy in selectively teaching certain lessons. Diane taught her players to feel lucky everyday.

What are you life lessons are you teaching your athletes?